I was inspired to start a meditation poem series, which was partly motivated by my desire to recommit to a regular sitting meditation practice. These poems are written shortly after I’ve sat on my cushion.
I brought my meditation cushion to NC to my parents’ house. My hope is to meditate everyday for 90 days, and hopefully those 90 days will help me return to a daily practice moving forward. My sitting practice has been much more sporadic. I used to incorporate a regular daily sitting practice of zazen and centering prayer.
Meditation Poem #2
living half asleep
sitting to be awake
heart wide open
here i sit alone
facing my thoughts
breath by breath.
Never knew the meaning of love, until you were born. Hearing you cry and watching you go through toddler melt downs, and then watching you nap. Seeing the best of me in you, and seeing the worst of me in you. Accepting it all and loving you anyway. I have deeper appreciation of my parents’ love.
Thank you for gathering us together as citizens of this nation. We give thanks for each person here, for their work, for their thoughts, feelings and words, but especially for the gift of themselves. Sometimes we forget that we each have a story, a life, struggles and joys not always seen. Help us as we work side by side to serve this country, and to truly see and connect to each other, heart to heart. We are more than what we do, even when it is good and meaningful work. Help us to see the fullness of each person gathered here. Help us to see how each person that make up this beautiful nation is a blessing, and help us bless those who come to this nation seeking a home. May you bless our work, bless our time, and truly bless each person here to realize that each life is a blessing just simply for being. May we realize this blessing as we walk shoulder to shoulder with one another.
In Your Holy Name We Pray. Amen.
[Today marks 28 years of my family being in the U.S. We immigrated from South Korea to Asheville, NC on Nov. 6, 1989, and became citizens in 1994.]
Thank you for your openness and honesty about how overwhelmed you feel recently with all the new transitions in your life, sometimes even through the good changes. You asked me how I get through change, when I feel overwhelmed? There’s no one shot answer to this I am afraid, but maintaining a regular practice of prayer and meditation has helped me be present to my life, when I feel overwhelmed by changes I associate as being positive, and changes I deem as being negative; I’ll clarify what I mean by positive and negative change later on.
It’s hard not to give into that feeling of busyness, and finding balance between time with God, family, and work. I often make mistakes, but some days I am able to remember through out the day that God is with me through all my ups and downs. We’re only human. It often helps me to start my day reaching out to God, and just sitting still and being quiet. Contemplative prayer traditions have been really helpful, and I also learn from our Buddhist friends who have also a deep and rich contemplative practices, but centering prayer is something that I’ve found helpful in our own Christian tradition.
Even good things in life can become overwhelming like getting married, expecting a baby, learning to be parent, or adjusting to a new job. All in all, it’s helpful when I make time to be still and know God is with me, and God loves me as I am. Never forget that you are a Beloved Child of God.
Blessings to you and your family,
Your Friend on this Journey of Life
beloved, I am not worthy of your love, and yet you love me. I cringe before the light of your love, because I have been lost in darkness so lost. i seek your face, and yet run when you turn towards me. my words are all for vain, because they do no justice to the deep longing i feel; i am completely lost without your love. your love gives me wholeness and purpose, and yet i am afraid to completely rest in you. i am a child of chaos, and sometimes the emptiness and darkness feels more normal than the safety and warmth of your love. help me be content with being at peace, instead of jumping into the abyss. i am not worthy of your love, but time and time again you embrace me over and over. your forgiveness and grace flows abundantly towards me and every wayward child. i keep hearing echoes of your voice, “if you want to get to know me, get to know my kids.” your children like me are not always likable; they sneer, lie, and break each others hurt over and over. every time i want to run, you call me back home to you. you tell me to trust, love, forgive, and then pass on how you love me to the rest of your kids. maybe this time, i’ll finally listen. this time i will stay in your embrace, and learn to love as you love. thank you for your love, and i hope to love those who think unworthy of your love.