poem: memories

This Poem is written in honor of everyone living with dementia, family, friends, and other care givers who are present with them.

I know you will not remember me,
but you’ll remember the feeling.
All I can do is, be open to each moment,
and try to create moments of joy with you.

either I can see you as you are, or
try to hold on to the old image of you
and becoming angry or frustrated.

I choose to live in today with you,
even if you are living in yesterday,
but we get to relive it together
here and now.

all we have is this precious moment.
I choose to fill it with love.

Poem: Fixin’ Lunch #2

I’ll let my Southern roots speak in this poem. I feel proud that I have my daughter’s lunch fixed before midnight; I am improving with practice. I had a full meaningful day as a chaplain being of service to others, visiting, praying, doing some administrative work, but mainly connecting to God and helping out of that center. I felt more energized and less drained throughout the day.

I picked up my daughter after a full day’s work, and we were able to connect and be playful. We had dinner with my house mates, my two Quaker aunties and one of their 27 years old son. I also helped my daughter connect to her mom, her mom’s boyfriend, and grandma via FaceTime; part of brain told me that I’m going well beyond what I need to since I only got to talk to my daughter once over FaceTime last year while she was away in Florida for over 8 days. I’m trying to not keep a tally in my head, and focus on what’s best for my daughter and actually be a decent human being on my end.

So needless to say, this post is much more than just about a poem on fixin’ lunch. It’s about the little victories in life, about enjoying each moment we have, and yes…it’s about my life and how God helps my little heart grow. My daughter is a great teacher, and yes, even divorce and learning to co-parent with the ex has been a great teacher too.

Poem: Fixin’ Lunch #2

nothin’ says i love you like peanut butter and jelly.
i’ll always be your daddy even when you’re smelly.

i’ll tell you stories and use my imagination,
to explore uncharted worlds and exploring all creation.
i’ll chase away the monsters,
and even throw away trash in the dumpsters.

i’ll kiss away your boo boos,
and make train noises go choo! choo!
I ain’t to proud to use a little treat,
to have you eat while in your seat.

not always sure if I know what I’m doin’,
at least our dinner wasn’t just puddin’.
you bring smiles to my heart little girl,
and so grateful we get to share love in this world.

if fixin’ your lunch is the last act i do,
I’ll be at peace with doin’ nothin’ mo’.
love is all the little actions,
filled with meaningful connections.

i spread my knife life loving as i spread the jelly,
and pray i’ll have time for a shower so i won’t be so smelly

Poem: Love Song to My Higher Power

oh Holy One,

may I be one with You, so there is no longer
separation between thou and I.
may I be one with the infinite universe beyond time and space.
love crosses throughout space weaving my soul with all others,
finite beings woven together by Your divine love.
May we truly see with hearts open, and live the reality that when I hurt another
I hurt myself.
Infinite unity that brings about harmony, may it be in the eternal now.

free verse

beloved, I am not worthy of your love, and yet you love me. I cringe before the light of your love, because I have been lost in darkness so lost. i seek your face, and yet run when you turn towards me. my words are all for vain, because they do no justice to the deep longing i feel; i am completely lost without your love. your love gives me wholeness and purpose, and yet i am afraid to completely rest in you. i am a child of chaos, and sometimes the emptiness and darkness feels more normal than the safety and warmth of your love. help me be content with being at peace, instead of jumping into the abyss. i am not worthy of your love, but time and time again you embrace me over and over. your forgiveness and grace flows abundantly towards me and every wayward child. i keep hearing echoes of your voice, “if you want to get to know me, get to know my kids.” your children like me are not always likable; they sneer, lie, and break each others hurt over and over. every time i want to run, you call me back home to you. you tell me to trust, love, forgive, and then pass on how you love me to the rest of your kids. maybe this time, i’ll finally listen. this time i will stay in your embrace, and learn to love as you love. thank you for your love, and i hope to love those who think unworthy of your love.